I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
