I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
