We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
