He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
