my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize