I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
