found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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