i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
