He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
