honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
