Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
