she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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