Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize