I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Damn victory sex feels great
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
