Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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