He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
