I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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