His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
