She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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