I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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