just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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