Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
When are your genitals available?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize