Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
