I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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