Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
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