oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
