It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
