I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Are we still banned from the library?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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