That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
They took my balls.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
