he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
