well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He's a Shit stain on my heart
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
