Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
