I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
