I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize