Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
