she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
