YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
