What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
