I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
