i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
