How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
