Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
