I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he quoted the bible to break up with me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
