It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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