I think I am morally bankrupt
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Randomize
