she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She has the best kind of daddy issues
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
