i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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