We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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