Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
