I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
