STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
