capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
