She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
True college students do jello shots in the library
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