Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's blow job season.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
