you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
