After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
