Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize