If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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