I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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