first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's blow job season.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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