i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
