Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We got so high we made milksteak
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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