around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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