oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
