Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
