Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
