Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
