got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
