Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
