Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
