You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
