You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
