If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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