I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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