i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
