There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
