walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize